Blogging? Who has time for that?!?

Well...it's been a long time since I have posted anything at all!! Time sure has flown by lately. I wish it would slow down!

I don't really have much to blog about right now. My life is totally consumed with my school work. I am currently taking 4 courses however it's more like taking 6! Since two of my classes have labs they require their own set of assignments and test! So....yeah it has been an interesting fall semester! I am really enjoying my classes and have learned quite a bit already. I have days when I feel like I'm never going to finish all my work since I have so much and days when I breeze through it. So...it just depends on the day! So far I am rockin' A's in all my classes but of course it's still the beginning of the semester! I will say that I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband to support me! I feel so bad because I feel like he's having to take on so much since I'm out of commission most of the time! The days I don't have lab I get home and get right to my studies....and the days I do have lab I'm home around 7:30pm and am dead tired! Luckily he's supportive and wants to see me do well in school!

We started Christmas shopping! I know, it's early but we're those early Christmas shoppers! We do black Friday every year too! Matt went to his first black Friday last year and said it was his last! Little does he know...he'll be going this year!! Black Friday really wears me out but it's such an adventure. I'll probably always do it just for the fun of it!

Well this blog is going to be short and sweet because I don't have much time these days!

Oops, I did forget to mention that PugOWeen is only a few weeks away! I am so excited and so are the kids! We decided we're going to do "Pug Light Year" thanks to Melody! Susie will be "Pug Light Year," Connor will be Woody, Bailee will be Jessie, and Maddie is going to be their horse! They are so excited and cannot wait until it's PugOWeen time! I can't wait either, I'm such a big kid! They are hoping that they get a trophy this year but they are just happy to go even if they don't win! They understand that it's all about raising money for the dogs and supporting the cause.

Well, this is my short, sweet, and lame blog of the day! I'll try to sneak some more blog time in soon! I will say that I cannot wait for December 16th because I'll be out of school for an entire month then!! You can't beat that!

Hope everyone is doing well!

So..that's how she did it?

So I haven’t really had much time to blog lately. I haven’t had time for much of anything! I’m in summer school right now which has been a HUGE challenge for me! I’m not as young and sharp as I used to be! I have five weeks left so I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!

We have had the kiddos for the past month (as we always do) and it has been great! We love having them home full time…it’s the month we look forward to the most throughout the entire year! This year it has been a difficult one for me. I’m not referring to the kids being difficult…I’m speaking of my schedule. Usually I drop the kids off at the sitters’ house and Matt picks them up. This year we’ve kept that the same…so that’s good! The difference is usually when Matt is picking up the kids from the sitters house I am at home cooking dinner or the other way around when I would pick them up. This year Matt has double duty! He picks them up, gets dinner ready, handles bath time, and puts them to bed on time! He has done so great…I am so proud of him! Okay….he’s totally capable but he’s used to us working as a team! Anyway, this summer has been difficult for me because I’m used to coming home and being greeted with hugs and kisses…now when I get home everyone is in bed! I get home, get their clothes ready for the next day, and sometimes pack their lunches if Matt hasn’t already done it. I take a little time to study and then attempt to be in bed by 11:30 so I can get my six hours of sleep! I’m used to coming home from work and spending time with my family…I’m so glad this is temporary!

So far my class is going well. I have my first test tomorrow and I am super nervous about it! We have gone over so much information in such a short period of time! After my first day of my Chemistry class…I came home absolutely exhausted. I was not sure how I was going to make it another day! After my second day…I was even more tired and unsure how I was going to make it the next day. By Thursday I was beyond tired and unsure how on earth I was going to roll out of the bed on Friday! Fridays I am off (thank goodness) so I really look forward to that! Friday came around and I had to run by campus to pick up a book that was on backorder for school. As much as I did NOT want to go pick it up…I did! Since I had to run out to school Matt offered to pick up the kids (sweetest husband ever) and I got home a little before them. I ran the dogs out for a speedy walk and then went straight to my bed. Of course the kids were through the door in the next fifteen minutes…I got a little 15 minute rest and I was happy! So sad how 15 minutes can make you so happy huh?

So I think back at my Mom…and how hard she worked. She always kept the house clean, laundry done, dinner ready and always had time for me. Even on the days that I find myself unsure how I am going to keep going …I do. I guess when you’re a Mom you just keep going….even when your energy tank is on empty! I don’t think you realize how much your parents do for you until you are a grown up and have kids of your own. You don’t realize how tired your parents are at the end of the day because you are a kid and have endless energy! Kids can go and go until they are literally falling over and falling right to sleep! There are days when I’m ready for a nap by 1:00pm but have to keep going because that’s what parents do! It can be challenging juggling everything but it’s well worth it all! I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

All I can say is…I can’t wait for school to be over! As hard as it is can be to get out of bed or to make it to class…I know it will pay off in the end. By December I will have knocked out 36 hours of prerequisites! I’m counting down to December 16th…when I will finally have a few weeks to relax.

Anyway…I better get back to studying for my test! I like to take small breaks so my eyes don’t cross from all that information!!!

I’m so thankful I had such a wonderful Mom who did what she did everyday…for me. I strive to be like her!

Best Friends & Memories

Well school is officially kicking my butt!! These summer classes are no joke…what happened to summer classes being a breeze? Geez….I’m just waiting for these classes to end. I’m definitely not as sharp as a used to be…that’s for sure! I can’t wait to get into my nursing classes. Can’t wait!
It’s so funny…I was driving to work this morning and listening to old songs that I loved when I was a teenager. I happened to come across NSYNC who I just KNEW would be around forever. Well little did my teenager self know a few years later they would break up and only Justin Timberlake would come out on top. I mean think about it….
Joey Fatone…Small acting parts but nothing to talk about
Chris Kirkpatrick (the one I was going to marry)…have no idea
Lance Bass…he came out of the closet but that’s about it, what happened to him going to space???
JC Chasez…..I will say I own his solo album it may just be one of the very few that were actually purchased….and he’s a judge on America’s Top Dance Crew or whatever that shows called
Justin Timberlake…need I say more??
Oh how awkward the teens years were. They were so fun! Looking back..my best friend Melinda (Mel Jo) and were a little delayed. When I say that I mean we matured a little slower than the other girls. I am THANKFUL we did. We were able to enjoy our childhood to the fullest! I remember when we were old enough to drive we would drive just to drive so we could listen to our CDS! We thought we were so cool too. Those were the days!
I think it’s so crazy where we are today. Mel Jo and I have known each other since we were five! I can’t remember life without her. Strange huh? Well not strange to me. I grew up with her parents and she grew up with mine. We spent so much time together and got along so well. Mel Jo is so passive and I think when we were younger I was more of the bossy one….but it worked! We spent every waking moment together growing up. The strange thing is…we never went to elementary school, middle school or high school together. Weird huh? When she would go to her Dad’s house she would come over or I would go over there. When we were old enough to drive we would drive to each other’s house. Once we got to high school we would go straight to each other’s house after school without even asking the other if they cared! Ha, we didn’t have to! We have so many inside jokes that nobody would understand or think was funny. Of course we can say them to this day and just crack up like crazy! I feel like high school was just a few years ago…it’s more than 6 years ago now! Ah!!
I could almost say that we’ve grown apart some but I’m not sure that we really have. We both live different lives right now. We’re in different places and have been for a while. I’m married with a family so my time is very limited. Life changes with a husband and kids! I have changed a lot in the last five years. I’ve grown up a lot and am totally the person I was meant to be. I love my life and wouldn’t trade it for the world. I am so grateful I have those memories of Melinda, Melody and I living together in our bachelorette pad! The place was such a mess but it was our fun mess! We had so much fun…doing nothing! So many nights were just spent hanging out, talking and going to 7-11! I remember the lady who worked the late night shift knew us and talked to us like she was our friend! We did the silliest things! I remember when I got the great idea to go fishing in the pond behind our apartments. Of course I ended up having to bait the hooks, take the fish off the line and bait the hook again…those girls were not touching anything! I remember being the “Mom” and calling to check on them if they didn’t come home on time. They acted like it was a pain but I think they secretly liked it! We had so much fun and have so many pictures/memories from those times! I will cherish them forever!

I guess the point to this blog is..

Although I am busy making new memories with my husband and our kids…they will never replace all the great times I had with my best friends. The three of us are all at different places in our lives. Some of us settled…at the crossroads or wherever but the bottom line is whenever one of us gets lost the other is there to lead the way. I am so blessed to have friends that know me…the real me! They have been there through the really hard times for me and stood by me throughout changes in my life. I’m looking forward to making these memories with my family as well as my friends. I know we don’t get to see each other nearly as often as we used to but when we do….I cherish every moment of it. I hope my best friends know that!
Well it’s going to be a long weekend of homework, fun and celebrating!

Until next time…

Once Upon a time....

One Sappy Story


Well I’ve decided I’m taking a break from my boring homework and writing a blog! I’m having such a hard time with English II and I don’t know why! English has always been my favorite subject…until now! Oh well..

So I guess I thought while I’m still a sappy newlywed (ha-ha) that I would write the story of how we met somewhere. Now I did make a little profile on The Knot but I never finished it! So…I’m blogging it instead! Matt thinks blogging is so weird but he just doesn’t get it! Maybe one day I’ll get him to blog, yeah right!

Once upon a time…..just kidding! Well it all started in 2005! I was working at a vocational school as a Student Advisor and well Matt and his Mom were students. I met them during their second week while I was doing their “New Student Interviews” and making ID badges. I had actually talked to Matt’s Mom, Donna before but briefly. I believe she came into my office one day and saw my picture of Arnold Scott on my shelf. She asked me about my precious pug and of course I had a mouthful to say about it! She told me about her dogs and we talked for a few minutes. I think that day was the first time I had really remembered actually looking at Matt. I thought he was a good looking guy with a LOT of charm! Those Phelps men and their charm! Matt came into my office to get him Mom and said hello to me too. We had met already since I was his advisor but he said something about my pug picture as well. They were not in my office long and off they went. I remember I was working with Mary Jane, Melody and Sarah J at the time. I remember when Matt and Donna left I was on cloud nine! I remember telling my co-workers…” When I am ready for a serious relationship…he’s going to be the one!” I also happened to say, “I’m going to marry him one day.” Ask them!
I think my co-workers were in shock. At the time I had just turned the corner and left my teens…I was only twenty. I had gone through a “party” stage that year. I had dated a few guys here and there but nothing serious. I just wasn’t a serious girl at the time. I wanted to hang out with my friends and didn’t really have time for guys. I worked hard and partied hard…that was my life then. Around May or June I had settled down quite a bit. I was over the whole party stuff and wanted to move on. I started staying in when my roomies went out, reading rather than going out for a drink, and well just growing up.

Ok enough about me back to the story….
Well the day I had make Donnas student ID we were in the ID room and she was talking to me as she always did. I thought she was just the sweetest lady! She was asking me questions and making small talk when she said, “My son thinks you are so cute.” I think I probably turned bright red. I just laughed and told her thank you. I really didn’t know what to say. That was totally against the rules. I was his advisor; he was my student, no way. I don’t remember too many details I just remember Matt smiling at me a lot in the hallway and always stopping by my office to say hello. Donna and Matt don’t know this because it’s an embarrassing, silly thing that girls do… but when Matt would come in or Donna would come into the office the girls would say…” There’s your Mother in Law” or “There’s your husband.” Little did we all know…he became my hubby and she is my mother in law!!! Strange huh?
The day the “magic” started happening. Matt’s class came down to get their id badges made. Donna came first with her class and Matt’s came another day. Since the ID room is so small I had to make each ID one at a time. When Matt me in he came in with his charm…of course. I asked him for all his information and took his picture. While his ID was printing I kind of broke the ice and said, “Someone told me that you think I’m cute?” He just smiled because he probably knew exactly who and went along with it. He beat around the bush a little but I got my confirmation that he did think I was cute! Such a fun time…being twenty and getting the butterflies!
Matt continued to stop by my office and talk to me. He wouldn’t talk to me long but he would stop by and ask how my day was and make small talk. Finally he got the courage to ask me out, finally! It happened one night when I was walking the halls and collecting attendance. The halls were empty but Matt came out into the hall. He stopped me and said hello. I thought that was odd because he needed to be in class. He then asked me if he could ask me on a date. I told him that I wasn’t allowed to date the students and I would be fired if I did. Of course his little charming self said, “Well you can trust me.” I just laughed and told him I would think about it. That was that…what was I to do?
Later that week he came by my office to ask if I had thought about it. I told him yes. I wrote my number on my card and gave it to him. Later that evening while it was his “break time” he came down to my office. All of my other co-workers had gone home and the office was quiet. He sat down in my chair and spilled the beans. He told me that he was 25, divorced and had 2 kids. He told me that he lived with his sister and was trying to get back on his feet which is partly why he was in school. I was blown away. Here I was twenty years old and interested in a guy. He’s telling me that he’s got kids. At twenty I had never dated anyone with kids….I had never really dated anyone seriously at all. He knew I was younger than him but he didn’t know how much. I told him my age and I think he was surprised. I think he thought I wouldn’t be able to handle dating someone with children. Matt told me that he wanted to put it all on the table …and if I didn’t want to go out with him after that I didn’t have to. He understood it was a lot to soak in. I told him that I appreciated him being upfront with me but I still wanted to get to know him better. So guess what…I prayed about it.
The rest is history! I think this is such a silly story! It’s not anything super romantic but I love our story! I think its fun! I think about how we both ended up in the same place at the same time. How random? A guy from Rowlett and a girl from Grapevine…in one random place.
If I would have been able to hold it together at the wedding…I would have given a small speech about how much my Mom would have loved Matt but I knew I would fall apart while speaking! I wanted to avoid meltdowns that day! I KNOW my Mom would have loved Matt. I don’t think I’ve told this story in a blog before but if I have…here it is again!
When I was younger in high school I struggled with the issues every girl struggles with in high school. Am I pretty enough, am I skinny enough, am I popular enough blah blah. Now looking back it’s really unimportant but back then that’s your world. You don’t know anything else! I didn’t date much back in high school and throughout high school I never had a “serious” boyfriend. Of course like every other teenager I automatically thought something had to be wrong with me. I remember my Mom telling me that she’s glad I didn’t have a lot of boyfriends in high school because I didn’t have to go through heartbreak. She was confident that when I was older (out of high school) I would meet someone and that would be it. I wouldn’t have to go through heartbreak after heartbreak. I feel like that’s a gift from God himself. Another reminder that he listens. I have never been through a “first love” heartbreak. I have been hurt but it was for other reasons….Matt is my first love! I think God knew how heartbreaking it was to lose my Mother so maybe he saved me from going through that. I don’t know..I’m only guessing! Either way I am blessed to have married such a wonderful man!

Hope you enjoyed my sappy blog!

Wedding Bliss!

We’re married!!

I can’t believe the day has come and gone. All that planning, stress, and worry just for a few hours! Was it worth it? I believe it was. I will say that I thought our wedding was beautiful! I LOVED the chapel. It was intimate and beautiful. As happy as I am that we had a wedding I will still say I would have been just as happy without. I think a lot of people get “lost” in all the wedding madness. It’s not about the decorations, the bouquets, or the dresses…it’s about celebrating love. That sounds so corny huh? I think it’s true. I don’t think I got lost in all the “stuff” like a lot of women. My centerpieces and décor was very simple. That’s what I wanted…simple. I wanted to focus on why we were there. Matt and I wanted to be married!!! That’s the bottom line. If we had not been blessed to have a ceremony I would have been just as happy to have eloped. Regardless of how we were married…we just wanted to get there.

The actual wedding rehearsal went great! Everyone was on time and it was smooth. I think this is when I almost lost my composure! During the rehearsal Matt and I had to rehearse our vows. Everything hit me and I think it was then that I was really going to marry him! Ok I always knew I was going to marry him…but ya know this is when I realized that it was only a day away! While we were rehearsing the vows I had some tears fall but I held it together pretty well! The kids had a great time and we got some really great photos!

The rehearsal dinner went really well. We had our friends and family with us. We ate some yummy Mexican food and had some great conversation. I did have one breakdown at the rehearsal dinner. Luckily Andi and Donna (my “new” Mom) were there for my rescue. Andi hugged me until I could compose myself. That meant so much to me. I think I became really overwhelmed because I had everyone there except well…my Mom. Of course that had been on my mind throughout this entire process and there we were at dinner. I had an emotional moment that got the best of me…but hey I think we’re allowed to have those!!

The wedding day went really smooth as well. I had two of my Aunts there to help me! They really helped! They took the essentials for me such as my wedding dress, Madison’s dress, the wedding rings, marriage license, and jewelry. That helped me so much since I didn’t have to worry about hanging on to that stuff all day. During the day I hung out with most of the girls! It was great! I was really calm that day…not sure why. We went to get our hair done and from there…time flew by!
When we got to the chapel we all were settled in and took a quick peek at the chapel. It brought me to tears…it was beautiful! I couldn’t believe how such a small, intimate chapel could be transformed into what it had been. I also snuck over the reception hall. It took my breath away! I couldn’t believe how the staff had transformed that room as well. It was AMAZING! My colors had come together so well.
We all put our dresses on and had a few laughs. I really feel like most of this is a blur. I do remember that somehow a black mark got on my dress!!! I almost freaked out but I relaxed and let my Aunt Carol take care of it. She did a great job because nobody could tell that there was a mark! She pinned it to hide the spot!

When it was time to walk down the aisle…I was completely overwhelmed. I saw people in the crowd that I had not seen in years such as my Mom’s old friends, old family friends and friends I couldn’t imagine living without. At the end of the aisle I saw my husband! He looked so handsome! I had to fight back the tears as I made it down the aisle. I had to stay focused because I thought if I cried I wouldn’t be able to stop. The ceremony was a blur as well. It went by so fast and I was in the zone! Before I knew it we were being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Phelps and off we went to wait for pictures!!

The reception was wonderful! We had so many people that we loved there and were blessed to share our special day with them. I feel like we didn’t have enough time that night to spend with everyone like we had wanted. I think that’s how everyone feels though. Time just flies and before you know it your being pushed out the door!
We left in a limo with bubbles surrounding us! It was so fun! We stayed at the Marriot in Plano for our wedding night! It was a beautiful hotel in a beautiful area.

I’ll have to say nothing major went wrong. We didn’t forget the rings, cakes didn’t fall, nobody was late from the bridal party, and well everyone got along throughout this process.
I am so happy that we are finally married! I look at my ring everyday and just get butterflies because I am so happy! I hope this feeling lasts forever! I hear that it does!

The day after the wedding Matt and I brought the flower arrangements from the wedding to my Mom. We placed them by her headstone so that she could have something from the wedding. I saved a piece of the dress that my Aunts had to cut. I plan on taking that out to her as well. Although I couldn’t see her I know that she was there for every moment of it. The forecast predicted rain for the entire wedding weekend. Although it did rain a lot on Friday…Saturday was perfect! I’m not sure what strings my Mom had to pull but I know that was her doing! I think she knew that I would have been torn to pieces if the rain messed up my hair, lol! Either way my Mom knew that she was an important part of that day and that I love her very much!

So far married life has been great! I love being married and it’s everything that I thought it would be! I know life isn’t perfect and things will come up or happen. I am prepared for that and know that Matt and I will be able to make it through anything. We have a strong relationship that will be tested as anyone else’s is through time but I am confident that we will withstand time.

Well I started this blog about a week ago but with school starting and everything else going on I’ve been a slacker! I started my first summer semester this week. It ends the second week in July and my second summer semester starts in the second week of July! I’ll have a busy summer but I’m up for the challenge. This is my first experience with summer school so it’s been interesting so far! I didn’t realize it would be so much reading…but I’ll get it done!

My goal is to finish nursing school in two years so I push myself. I want to have a reliable career that I love and that will benefit my family. I want Madison and Connor to have everything I had growing up. My Mom didn’t have a lot of money but somehow I always had everything I dreamed of. Once I finish school Matt and I may expand our little family! Don’t hold us to that….but we are considering it! I don’t want to even talk about it until I’m done with school. Nursing school is hard enough…adding an extra little one to the mix will just make it that much harder!

Well enough of my rambling. I need to get to bed and get ready for the weekend. We have the kids this weekend and have so much going on! We’re going to tackle some cupcakes. Last weekend we made ants at a picnic and this weekend we are talking about the pug cupcakes. Wish me luck!

Pending…not in my vocabulary

Well we’re looking at about a week until the big day! I’ve survived this far and think I’m in for the haul now :) everyone say’s that time will just fly from here...

I think this entire process would have been much easier if the word “pending” would have never been invented. Pending does not work for me. Pending is my enemy! Through this vigorous process I have learned that I am the biggest control freak. Who would have thought? 5 years ago I was the opposite of a control freak. I had no idea what I was doing from one day to the next and now…..ask me what we’re doing three Saturday’s from now and I’ll tell you, “ Let me look at our calendar what I’ll let you know.” So as I was saying…I think that’s one of the reasons why I am having such a hard time with all this wedding stuff! First of all…I’m not a girly girl. I love football, I don’t really wear skirts of dresses, I LOVE sneakers, I believe dressing up is over-rated, and well I don’t mind getting my hands dirty. Second of all if I’m doing something that is out of my element I’m a super perfectionist. I have a certain way I want things and am super particular about it. Last but not least…I don’t do PENDING!! When I have an idea or want something done I feel like I need to do it right then. As you know not everything can be done immediately. Not when you are waiting on vendors, waiting for orders to come in or just waiting for something to be delivered.

Sigh, now that we’re almost to the finish line I feel like I can breathe a little more! Now pretty much everything has gone from pending status to complete. THAT makes me happy!
I had a wonderful wedding shower! Matt and I were showered with the love of our friends and family. We couldn’t have asked for more!

We both had our bachelor/bachelorette parties. We both had a great time even though I think the girls had more fun!!

Now we’re approaching the rehearsal dinner. Can you believe it? I can’t! I know the rehearsal will be wonderful!

Madison has been calling this week telling us how excited she is. I love those phone calls! She is ready for us to pick her up this weekend so we can shop until we drop for her rehearsal dinner outfit. I think I may have found her little dress at Macy’s…but we’ll see!

Ok enough of my babbling I need to carry on here at work!

The best things in life are free

I can confirm that statement. The best things in life are indeed FREE. Sometimes I think people lose focus and forget the truth behind that phrase.


Let me just start this off with a story...

I brought my dress to little alteration shop today so I could start the process. I went by myself and was greeted by a very friendly lady. She asked if I had come by myself and of course I said yes. She asked why I hadn't brought my Mother or Maid of Honor.

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My response was that my Mom couldn't make it and my Maid of Honor was working. Thankfully she didn't press on and left it at that. The lady did not mean any harm but of course it stung. Another wonderful reminder of what we're missing out on; mother and daughter.

It's been a rough couple of days for me emotionally. I think I'm coming over the "hump" because today I had a moment. Thankfully Matt was there to hold me, comfort me and listen. That's all I needed. That's all he can do and that's all that I need :) I am reminded by his patience, love and caring nature that I have found a wonderful husband!

Today I've received several messages from family members asking why my Dad wasn't at my shower. Sigh, another sting :) That's ok...I'm learning how to react. My response is basically that I am not sure. That is the truth as simple as it is. Does it bother me? Yes, very much so. What can I do about it...nada. My Dad has now said that he may not be coming to the actual rehearsal or the rehearsal dinner. He's got his reasons and that's fine. I reminded him that I would like him there but was told " the only thing I have to do is walk you down the isle, how hard is that" so I'm not sure my message got through. I guess we'll see :) I guess the entire point of this blog is I am blessed to have a wedding that I never would have imagined. As happy as I am with all of the material " stuff " sometimes it's not the "stuff" that matters. It's the presence of someone, their spirit, or their support. That counts more than the "mighty" dollar.

I hope I can learn from this experience in several ways. Hopefully I can learn and grown into a stronger person because this has been an emotional experience.

"Kids say the darndest things"

First of all let me say that I think I’m coming out of my slump! I was in a kind of funky mood but I’m coming out of it. Thank goodness!

This past Friday night was Melinda’s surprise birthday dinner. It was great! I thought something was going to happen to give her a clue that something was up but it turned out she was in total shock. She had a great time.

Saturday was the shower thrown by one of my Mom’s friends. I’ve had some anxiety going into it but it turned out really nice. I was nervous that I wouldn’t remember some of the ladies since it has been over 7 years since I’ve seen them. At first some of the names were distant to me but the faces I knew the moment I saw them! It was comforting being surrounded by people who knew my Mom and really cared for her. During the shower we talked about her and had some great laughs. She was a truly loved by many people and is missed. I got some great gifts that I actually used this weekend. The kids wanted to use the waffle maker so of course Sunday we made waffles! :) Anyway, the shower was great. It was comforting as well as emotional. When it was time to say goodbye I found tears in my eyes knowing that I probably wouldn’t see the majority of these women ever again. I grew up in front of so many of them. I was only 5 years old when my Mom began her career at Grapevine Colleyville ISD. I would go to work with her on “take your child to work day” and that was the highlight of my school year. I loved everyone in my Mom’s office. They were a big part of my life growing up.

After the shower I went to lunch with Melody. She actually went to the shower with me along with Madison and Connor. The kids wanted to go and meet my Mom’s friends. They are so curious about my Mom and who she was. We went to lunch at McDonalds…totally Connor’s choice! After that we went home for a while and went back out for a few more stops. One stop was Target. It seems that Bed Bath & Beyond is doing great with our registry but Target is not. Everything we got from the shower is still listed on the registry as not purchased. So to avoid duplicates for the wedding I went to edit my list. Of course the kids wanted to go because they love scanning the scanner gun! :) Who wouldn’t right? So we went to delete some stuff and then I added a few more things to the registry. As we’re walking around Connor starts asking the most random questions. I’ll just type out the conversation…

Connor: When you have a baby in your tummy is it gonna be a boy?

Me: Well..I don’t know. That’s really not my choice…it’s up to God to decide what he wants me to have.

Connor: It’s gonna be a boy so I can have a baby brother.

Me: We will have to see if I do have a baby what God gives me. Either way I already have a girl and a boy.

Connor: What if you don’t have a baby in your tummy?

Me: Well then I will be just as happy with you and your sister. God may decide not to give me a baby.

Connor: On no, he’s going to give you a baby brother in your tummy.

So cute right? I was just laughing because he has already decided that Matt and I are having a baby and that it’s going to be a boy. Oh goodness…kids are so cute.
As we were walking around Target not even half an hour later he starts asking more questions..

Connor: Kim Bye, when are you gonna see your Mom again?

This time I had to hold back the tears because this was an honest question…he does not understand.

Me: Well I won’t get to see her until I go to Heaven.

Madison: Yeah Connor, when Kim Bye goes to Heaven she will get to see her. Just like when we go to Heaven one day we will get to meet her.

Such a sweet girl :)

Connor: So you won’t get to see her?

Me: Yes, I will see her but not for a long time.

Connor got a sad look on his face and stopped asking questions.

Kids are so curious about the unknown. I think it’s sweet that they ask these questions but sometimes I don’t know what to say! Hopefully I answered these right :)

Madison asks about my Mom all the time. She will say…”Did Kristina like this?” or did Kristina do this?” and so many other questions. She is such a sweet girl. She always wants to bring flowers out to her grave and picks out cute little butterflies and things to bring out there. Connor always wants to paint something to bring to her. This makes me so happy that although they cannot ever get to know who their Grandmother was….they can find out through me. I’m so happy that they care enough to ask questions :) she would have loved that!

Anyway, I thought I would post that. I thought it was so cute and it did melt my heart.

The wedding is less than a month away. I can’t believe it!

Wedding Fever!!

Wow...my first post. I'm not in the blogging world! Hopefully I wont become completely addicted to this. I started Farmville and well we know how that has worked out for me :) Just kidding! Farmville and blogging are two completely different concepts! Hopefully I wont be a boring blogger!

This past Saturday was our wedding shower! It was my first real taste of the "wedding fever" that has just begun! I was completely overwhelmed. Is that bad...? I hope not! I had a wonderful time and enjoyed spending time with everyone. I felt like I didn't spend enough time with everyone and time just flew by! I can only imagine how crazy it will be on the actual wedding day! There will be way more people there and well it will be the wedding! I am very excited about it....the days are passing so fast now! I feel like it was a date far in the distance and now I look at the calender in shock. I think Matt is the same way! We are both truly excited.

As excited as I am about the wedding and celebrating this milestone in our lives with those we love....I am also petrified by the fact that I am going through this day without my Mother. I think about her every day and throughout every step in this process. The day I found my dress has probably been one of the biggest "meltdowns" that I've had. Of course I came home thrilled that I had found my dress and telling Matt how perfect it was and called my Aunt Rose. At the store I tried not to think about it because I didn't want to embarrass the girls I was with. I got through the entire fitting...the phone calls and then I got home. The meltdown was inevitable. I knew it would happen but I was thankful it was in the privacy of my own home and with Matt. He is such a caring man; I am so grateful for his patience and understanding. This past weekend was my wedding shower. I had such a wonderful time. So many loving friends and family were there to support us and show their love. I was going through the pictures today and smiling at all the memories that were created. As I went through the photos I couldn't help to have one of those moments. I don't have a picture my with parents. My parents weren't there. My Dad didn't show up...I guess he has his reasons...and my Mom of course wouldn't have missed it for the world, but didn't have a choice in the matter. It just sucks. That's the only way to put it :)

I have people there for me who love me as their own daughter but it will always be different. I dream about the wedding almost every night and most of the time they are good, happy and peaceful dreams. I have had the dreams that remind me that when I get to the end of the aisle there will be a flower sitting in my Mom's seat; not my Mom. I am so nervous that I will breakdown at the wedding and will be completely humiliated. I think that's partially why I didn't want to have a ceremony to begin with. I don't like to cry in front of people close to me; let alone a crowd. I'll do my best to hold it together...sigh but we'll see. Lately I've been waterworks...so I'm not sure how this will go.

Well I'm not so sure this is the most "exciting" blog beginning but it's what's going on for now! I promise my next one wont be such a downer!

Hopefully I will keep up with the blog...it might be fun to go back and read my prewedding thoughts...and after :)

Until next time...